I’ve been discussing how we might sabotage ourselves with our thoughts. One big thought obstacle that I come across is: IT’S NOT FAIR. It goes something like this: “My sister/friend/brother/husband can eat whatever s/he wants and stay thin.”
I have news for you – you are right – it isn’t fair
And if you want to get to your weight loss goals you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that you are your own special human in your own special human body and you must ADAPT to your personal system. Just because you husband or wife or friend can eat a piece of dark chocolate every night and stay at their goal weight, you might not be able to.
Humans are we are all pretty much wired to bristle at the lack of fairness
Think about how you feel when someone cuts in line or if someone gets a lower price on the same item as you. It can really ire us. We are hard wired to seek fairness. Research show that young children respond to lack of fairness. Studies show that other mammals such as chimps display a human like fairness as well. So, we can assume that fairness if pretty much hardwired into us.
“It’s not fair” is a sabotaging thought and it will not help you get to your goals
Are you having the “it’s not fair” thought, If so, follow the steps I outlined in part 1: Ask yourself:
- What am I thinking (e.g. “this is SO UNFAIR. My friend can eat popcorn and stay thin and I can’t.”)
- Ask yourself: are those helping me or sabotaging me? And, are they even true?
- What might I think that would help me? Or, what would I tell a friend in the same situation?
I like to tell myself in theses situations, life isn’t always fair but dwelling on that thought is not going to help me.