Are you eating (or drinking) to please others?

A subject that comes up time and again with clients is feeling pressured to eat (or drink alcohol) because they are at a social event and either don’t want to offend their host or stick out like a sore thumb OR they don’t want to explain that they are on a diet.

I believe this is all coming from a fear of rejection and our desperate need to fit in

Most of us are terrified of rejection and being ostracized because we are different. As humans we are wired to fit in with the herd and it can be very scary to do something different than others. But if you are afraid of rejection you cannot succeed.

When you eat to please others you are putting their (perceived) needs ahead of yours

I say “perceived” because most people don’t really care what you eat or drink. Most people are focused on THEMSELVES most of the time. Would you take a drug or a cigarette (assuming you are a non-smoker) if offered not to offend someone?

In fact when you assume that others will be offended you are practicing MIND READING.

You are assuming that this person will be SO OFFENDED and SO DISAPPOINTED that they will hold it against you for some indeterminate amount of time. So, ask yourself, what evidence do I have that this person is going to be offended? And, even if they are momentarily offended do I want to put their need for me to eat ahead of my weight loss goals?

But…others aren’t looking for clones who imitate them they are looking for AUTHENTICITY

And you can’t be authentic if you pretending to be something else than you are.

So…what to do?

Simply say “no thank you.” It is totally fine. And, in certain circumstances you may need to repeat it several times.