Make a commitment and make it non-negotiable

One of things that came up in a group coaching call I participated in last week was the idea of making a decision or setting a goal, committing to it and following through 100 percent. My coach made this sound so simple and in a way it is.

What is a goal?

A goal is a promise of commitment you make to yourself. The more you make these promises and then follow through on them the more you build trust in yourself. During the call I realized that I made some commitments to myself around my diet and my work that I was not living up to 100%. I kept letting myself down in little ways. The more I continued to “cheat” a little bit on my commitments to myself, the less trust I started having in myself and  I kept proving to myself that I was unreliable.  Did you ever have a friend with whom you kept making plans who repeatedly didn’t show or cancelled last minute with a variety of excuses? How much trust do you now have in him or her?  It’s the same with yourself. If you decide to do something, whether it’s to lose weight, to start exercising, to write a book, to journal each morning or to floss your teeth daily decide now, commit and then make that commitment 100% non-negotiable. The more you do this, the more trust you will build.

Here’s what to do:

  1. Decide on your goal and write it down. It also helps to tell someone so you feel more accountable. Example: I am going to floss my teeth every day for the next 6 months.
  2. Make necessary plans to make it real. Example: Tomorrow, I am buying dental floss and leaving it by my toothbrush.
  3. Commit, take daily actions and make those actions non-negotiable. Example: I will continue to floss my teeth daily regardless of the circumstance.

Things comes up that appear as insurmountable obstacles (they are not)

Stuff comes up. We might decide that tonight we are too tired to floss our teeth. Or, we might decide to commit to stop consuming white flour and sugar and then we forget to do a grocery shop or we might be out with friends and that cake looks so tempting or we decide to stop drinking and a friend shows up after a break-up with a bottle of wine and we think we must drink with her. Or, we’re at a party and we don’t want to offend the hostess by turning down her homemade dessert.

I have news for you: THESE ARE EXCUSES…

they are not insurmountable obstacles. In order to get to your goal, you need to be UNSTOPPABLE. It doesn’t matter what the obstacles are, you will just figure out a way to stay committed to your goals 100%. This is the non-negotiable part.

Accept that mistakes are going to happen

Self-trust is a muscle that we build. It may take a little time so be patient with yourself. Remember, this is not about perfection. Mistakes happen and when they do, see if you can learn from them.  Beating up on yourself is not going to help you get to your goals (in fact, just the opposite).