Do the friend audit: powerful and life-changing

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.

― Epictetus

A Different Type of Nourishment

Typically I write about how to choose the best foods to nourish yourselves to get to your health and weight goals but today, I want to talk to you about another kind of nourishment – the company you keep – who you choose to surround yourself with.  This has come up a LOT for my clients and it comes up for me a lot too. As my clients lose weight by giving up foods and habits that are not serving them, they naturally begin to evaluate other things in their life that are no longer working for them like relationships and activities that no longer serve them and decide to choose alternatives or simply let go of what is not working. You will notice that I used the word CHOOSE above because where you put your time and energy is a CHOICE. I say this to remind you that you have far more control that you realize over how much time and energy you put into other people.

Do a friend audit – right now

Go ahead and make a list of the people you spend time with.  Gary V describes this process as “auditing your circle.” This is a neutral assessment, not a judgment of anyone’s character or worth as a human being.

Do the people on your list:

  1. Inspire you ?
  2. Seem genuinely interested in what you are saying ?
  3. Seem totally happy for you when you have a success ?
  4. Leave you feeling energized, happy and vibrant ?
  5. Challenge you and tell you the truth about yourself ?
  6. Encourage you to be the best version of yourself ?
  7. Life a life you admire ?
  8. Try to change their lives to best the best versions of themselves ?
  9. DO STUFF (not just talk about it) ?


  1. Do they undermine you ?
  2. Do they blow you off for a better offer ?
  3. Are they self-destructive ?
  4. Are they negative or critical ?
  5. When you share success do they try to compete with you, criticize you or bring you down ?
  6. Do they seem uninterested in your life ?
  7. Do they talk and talk but never get stuff done ?
  8. Do they pressure you to join them in activities with them that you want to drop (i.e. over drinking or eating, smoking, being unkind to others) ?
  9. Do you leave them feeling drained and uninspired ?

If you find that some or many of your relationships fall into the second set of categories do this:

  1. Consider dropping or limiting the friendships that are not serving you
  2. Decide to attract people who you admire and who inspire you
  3. Figure out how to find a person who has the qualities you are looking for – look online, take a class, any way to meet the people whose company will lift you up, not bring you down.
  4. Go out and find at least ONE PERSON who can give you the support and love you need
  5. Don’t give up! Keep looking.

As with any life shift, awareness is the first step. Remember these two things 1)you are a product of the company your keep – confidence and success are INFECTIOUS and so are apathy and insecurity and 2)you are worthy of quality people in your life.